Everyone complains a little, the real problem is when people complaining forms a large part of one’s everyday communication. It can be soul-draining for the complainer and for those listening to ongoing complaining. It can be particularly difficult for other members of the person’s family. In addition, children brought up with complaining can themselves form the complaining habit.
There are times when complaining is justified and necessary. For instance, if you get a bad product or a very poor service in a restaurant giving feedback is helpful to the provider as well as being assertive and standing up for your rights – you made the decision to take action.
There are different types of complainers. Some people who complain don’t want to hear solutions, no matter how good the solution is. Those people use complaining just to let off steam. While it might be a helpful stress release strategy it is not pleasant for others.
Then you have sympathy seekers. Everything is wrong and if you have a problem, their problem is much worse. If they don’t have the problem you have today, they had a similar problem that was much worse in the past.
Then you have chronic complainers who default state seems to be one of complaint. This is similar to those who live in a state of unhappiness or depression. They may temporarily forget themselves and get caught up in pleasantness but quickly drifts back into the default state.
Chronic complainers keep thinking and complaining about a problem over and over and it can develop into worry and anxiety. Instead of taking action and dealing with things over which they have control, they complain instead and feel helpless.
Life’s journey can be littered with problems and setbacks. Successful people and unsuccessful people face problems and setbacks, the difference is that successful people take action to deal with challenges while unsuccessful people complain about them.
Complaining leads to a state of rumination where people don’t make decisions. When there is a problem make a decision to take action and deal with the obstacle.
The negative impact of complaining.
Wrong focus. You tend to develop the habit of focussing on the dissatisfying and displeasing things around you. Your attention becomes corrupted by the bad things around you.
You repel people. People will just get tired of your complaining, they won’t want to be around you or spend time with you.
You become less productive. Complaining is not productive, your time and energy are wasted. Also, you lose your sense of gratitude for what you have. you lose your sense of contentment and fulfillment.
Victim mindset. You start to feel powerless to master your life, you feel as though life controls you. You are more like to develop anxiety or depression.