The is an old saying that goes like this ” it won’t happen there is no need to worry and if it happens there is no point in worrying, you just have to live with it if it happens”, worry will not change what happens.
Worry is the running of horror movies about the future in your mind. If you keep running those movies you get a false picture of life. Your picture of life is distorted. You tend to focus on the negative facts, you don’t see the full picture. You don’t focus on your coping skills, knowledge, etc you can use to deal with any eventuality if it happens and can even prevent those things happening. Worry is really the preparation for the awful things that can happen so that you are prepared for them.
We have a tendency to be on the lookout for problems. We tend to look at the worse case scenarios. Worry is not really a help, it is useless. It is an UNDUE concern.
The big problem with worrying is that you can attract the outcomes on which you are focussed – the law of attraction. It can become a self-fulfilling prophecy, it is like inviting it. When you focus on something it becomes part of your reality, whether you want it or not.
You are depriving yourself of the enjoyment of the present moment when you focus on possible negative outcomes in the future and you are also damaging your health by stressing yourself out. We use the term “worry yourself to death” and if it doesn’t just cause physical death it causes the death of dreams.
An important question to ask yourself “what is the worst possible thing that can happen?” In reality the worst thing isn’t really that bad. We tend to over-estimate how bad something could be and when things go wrong we simply get to grips and adjust to the new situation. The mind tends to hate uncertainty, we simply have to learn to live with uncertainty.
Resistance to facing the worst possible outcomes that causes the stress and anxiety associated with worry. If you resolve to the accept the worst if it happens, you no longer have anything to worry about.
Let’s take a journey by car. The driver begins the journey with the belief that they are going to reach their destination safe and sound (unless they have a fear of driving). They could spend their time driving worrying about possible things that can go wrong in the future and are not present in the journey and truly enjoy it.
Yet, there are engaged in the dangerous activity of driving where â€œthe worst thing that can happenâ€ is actually getting killed on the road. They never even think of this, they are so occupied with worrying about things that can go wrong in the future. It is good that they are convinced that they will reach the destination safely.
Now had they focussed at the beginning of the journey of all the dangers of the journey, they would keep looking out for all the possible dangers, drivers over-taking dangerously, drivers breaking the lights, etc they would be a nervous wreck when they reached their destination.
Think of the journey by the car like our journey through life. There is always uncertainty but we can expect everything to be fine as we focus on what we have control over at the moment in our planned journey through life. You can now see how ridiculous most of your worries are.
Who are the people who don’t worry?
They are people who are in control as opposed to people who feel that they are out of control. They use the first signs of worry to look at the situation in perspective and take constructive action. They use fear to get them look at ALL the facts.
They choose faith and positive expectation over worry. They know the importance of being solution-focused. They know that worry will not lead them to what they want. They know that worry is the resistance to the solution. They also believe that if the worst possible thing happens that they will adjust to the new reality and that this eventuality was what was meant to happen for their growth as a person.
I have over the years seen people going through experiences, that at the time seemed so devastating when they happened, becoming the events that transformed their lives into meaningful growth. What is desirable according to the ego may not be what the universe has planned for our growth and true fulfilment in life.
Worriers are taking an unhelpful perspective.
Emotions are created by the way we look at something, The situation isn’t the problem, the perception is the problem. As Einstein said “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change”.
The problem is that you are emotionally caught up in your perspectives.
Exercise: Write down a perceived problem and make an evaluation of your present reality and the possible negative outcome in the future as:
A close friend would do.
Somebody in developing nations of the world with an average per capita GNP of $846
Somebody in a war-torn country.
You can see that you are blessed beyond belief in your present situation and still blessed EVEN if your worst concerns come true. When you are caught in emotion you can’t think straight, you need to mentally relax and your perspective can change. Listening to one of my audios in the programme is a powerful way of relaxing but also in shifting your perspective.
When the future arrives. If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude” Maya Angelou.
You would be amazed how people adjust to setbacks in life, even the most unthinkable atrocities.