Dealing with rejection

dealing with rejection

Everyone experiences rejection. The most successful , intelligent and good-looking people get rejected at some stage.  If we don’t recognise our worth, the world mirrors that, and we meet people who don’t see our worth either.

The pain of rejection is inevitable. We are hard-wired to feel pain when rejected, it is how we stay alive. We are tribal and we have the need to be accepted by the tribe.

Once we get through the disappointment, look at the truth of the situation, we will find the opportunity leading us to freedom and our self-worth and we lose the fear of rejection. Trying to be something we’re not just to get acceptance from others is essentially rejecting ourselves.

We must be true to ourselves in our journey of self-actualisation. Rejection is just the universe testing our commitment to becoming all that we can be in life. We must not stop chasing our dream because we are worried about what other people think, afraid to be deemed unworthy or inadequate.

You may perceive others who neither feel ar fear rejection as though rejection is something that just rolls off their backs. Their perception of rejection is different. So, what can we do to change the perception of rejection?

When rejection happens.

1. It is not about YOU.  Is it the way you present yourself, how you dress, your views, your personality, your communication skills and so on. Look at what attributes that caused the rejection. Are there skills you can work on that caused the rejection? When you look objectively at what happened and see it as feedback, it can help you grow as a person.

2. It might be bad luck. Sometimes it has nothing at all to do with you, it has to do with the other person’s circumstances.  They might be going to a bad situation in their lives, it might be displaced anger and you happen to be the person in the wrong place at the wrong time. What you want may not fit into the other person’s life at the time.

For instance, the guy who is refused a date may feel rejected and unworthy but it may be just that the girl didn’t want any boy in their life at that particular moment.

3. Broaden your perspective. Don’t see the rejection as the end all and be all, there is alway another girl, another job, another friend. You are simply eliminating what is not for you as you are stepping closer to achieving your particular goal. 

4. Reframe the word “rejection”. What you have to offer is simply not for them. It is for others you have yet to meet and meet you will. One of the most popular and best-selling self-help books “Chicken Soup for the Soul” was rejected by 140 publishers before it was finally accepted. Could you image what the author would have lost had he quit?

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